It all started with some power-mall-walking on Monday morning. Well, at least that's what I think. After almost hitting the 41 week mark, and after being extremely uncomfortable for the final 4 weeks or so of my pregnancy I was determined to get things moving. As with Mason, I did not want to end up going through all the NST and BPP testing, but was willing to go the castor oil route again, if necessary. Since it's the middle of winter walking outside wasn't an option, I chose - on an icy Monday morning - to head to the mall to do a few laps to see if that would move her down enough to say "hey - let's get this show on the road!"All Monday night I seemed to be having contractions, though I was sure I was just dreaming them since I was so eager to be in labor. But at about 5am, when I couldn't sleep anymore because they were coming every 5-10 minutes, I figured it was the real deal. I went downstairs to try to work through them on the couch, then took a shower, and finally woke Michael up at 8am to say "Do you want to have a baby today?"
I had my 41-week appt scheduled with my midwife at 9am Tuesday December 14th, so we called Mom and Wes over the house to watch Mason (and since he had a snow day from school), with the expectation that we would probably be heading straight to the hospital after the appointment. We packed up our hospital bags and supplies (my pillow and slippers, especially) and headed out. Thankfully, Mason was more than happy to have Omi and Opa to play with for the day and didn't seem to be bothered by us leaving. Zola, on the other hand, always gets nervous when she sees any bags being packed and was more upset by our departure.
On the way into the appointment, we found out that it had to be delayed by an hour, so we went to Greenlife to get some breakfast and food stuffs for the labor, all the while working through more consistent and stronger contractions now coming every 5-6 minutes and lasting almost a minute. We thought it would be fun to download the free "Contraction Timer" application that kept track of the times and durations and even graphed them for you.
At 10am, we went into see Jan at New Dawn. I expected that I had to be pretty dilated (I was 2 cm and 75% effaced at my 40-week appt) and was happy to learn that I was 4-5 cm, which meant a one-way ticket to the hospital! I was determined to not act like I was in labor, so we parked in the visitor's parking deck and walked into the hospital at 10:45am (fighting blustering 0 degree winds to get there), down the looonnnng corridor and up to the 4th floor. I think even when we checked in with the nurse she had to be convinced that I was, in fact, in labor. We walked down the hall and met Meg, who I was happy was the midwife on call - she was the first one I first worked with when I found out I was pregnant (see Michael's 12-week post) and I liked her "gruff" New Jersey demeanor. They then led us straight down the hall to "water world," which I was extremely happy about, since I was hoping to have a water birth and only 4 rooms/tubs are ever available.
Once we got settled, the nurse (Christine, who had had both her babies with New Dawn) did the normal check-in procedures - 20 minutes on the fetal heart rate monitor, form-signing for visitors and c-sections, labeling, etc. The last time I went through this, everything was a blur, so I was surprised to be so lucid in between contractions and aware of what was going on. After the hospital protocols were met, I was free to labor in whatever way I chose.
Soon after, I decided to labor in the tub for a while (probably was an hour or two?). Michael busied himself with taking an obscene amount of photos (we only had one labor photo from Mason's birth) and blogging on his iPad. It was a little strange that both of us sat with our iPhone/iPads in between contractions to communicate with the outside world, but that is the world we live in. I think he also didn't know what to do with himself other than reminding me to breath, keeping me cool with a washcloth, massaging my neck and rubbing my back. He also didn't know if it would be another 24 hours of this, as with my first birth.
But throughout the afternoon I seemed to be progressing very well. I was amazed with how well I handled the contractions, even as they got stronger. I was able to visualize relaxing my whole body and breathed through each one (unlike with Mason where I opted to groan for about 12 hours). The hardest thing was staying hydrated because I really did not want to drink water because I kept having to go to the bathroom (though sitting on the toilet also felt really good).
At about 3pm, the contractions had stepped up and I finally asked Meg to check me. She first asked what I hoped to be and I said 8cm, which she confirmed! I knew this meant I was getting close to transitioning and things would really pick up. I suddenly got very nauseated and proceeded to throw up in the trashcan several times. The nurse said that was a good thing and I was probably another 1/2 cm along. I decided to get back into the tub and the nurses started prepping the room for the imminent birth. This part got a little frustrating because I felt like everyone was waiting for me, which made me feel like I wasn't progressing fast enough. I knew that I should feel like pushing, so I tried to over and over, but never felt like I was making any progress. I couldn't tell if I should push or was forcing it and my contractions were getting very strong and harder to work through (though I was still very lucid in between them). At about 4pm, I asked Meg to check me in the water and I was at 10cm - good news! - though I still didn't feel like pushing.
I opted to get out of the water and change positions (and use the bathroom), but I was feeling very anxious and on the verge of hysterical - very unlike my last labor. I'm not sure if I felt insecure about not being able to manage the pain or that my labor was going to last another 12 hours, as did my first, but I was spiraling out of control. I started crying and saying that I didn't think I could do it. And Meg kept saying that there was only one way out of this (though in my mind I thought - there is always a c-section!) I knew ahead of time that Michael would probably have to really work on my self-confidence at this point because I would probably give up. I was right and, luckily, he stepped up his game and was focused on getting me through this.
We finally decided to break my bag of waters a little after 5pm to see if that would help move her down, since she was still high in my pelvis and not putting pressure on my cervix (which was why I didn't feel like pushing). With a impressive gush, they did, and things REALLY kicked up a notch. By this point, though, I was crying and screaming uncontrollably saying "I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't" over and over.
Luckily the nurses and Meg encouraged me to get up on my knees facing the back of the bed, which was raised, and work through the contractions, which were incessant at this point, while leaning into my pillow. The pain was overwhelming and I just wanted it to be over. Michael kept telling me I could do it and I kept saying "I can't." But then, all of a sudden I felt the "ring of fire" for about a minute and the next thing I heard was "Ok, her head it out, Audrey stop pushing while we rotate her shoulders." Stop pushing - are you kidding me?!? - this pain is unbearable I want it to be over!!!! At this point Michael starts crying (or maybe he had been), but I knew that it was almost over because he was crying.
Insert "explicative, explicative, explicative, scream, ouch, ouch, ouch, explicative, explicative, scream, scream, scream" and crushing Michael's hands through the pain. Then I felt the slip, slip, slip of her arms and legs coming out and I said, "Oh my god, I did it!" in relief and disbelief, then "Hey baby girl!"
The next thing Meg says is "Ok, Audrey, I'm going to pass her between your legs." And I pulled her up. Amazing. "Look at your hair" - that is where all that heartburn came from! It was 5:18pm - about ten minutes after they broke my water.
Of course, from here on out the room was a-buzz with activity. There was blood everywhere (even between my toes) that the nurses expertly mopped up before I could see any of it. They wrapped me and the baby in warmed towels and gently wiped her down and Michael and I sat there in disbelief at this little miracle. I really, honestly, did not think I could do it, but I did. And I don't want to do it again.
Her hair was so impressive - a full head of dark hair, just like her mommie. Her face looked just like Mason's did and since she popped out so fast, she didn't even have a cone head. Her fingers and toes were impressively long and her nails were like lizard claws. She had old man neck folds and was a shocking 9 lbs. She stayed on my chest for at least an hour (after birthing the placenta and all, which I was sad they didn't ask if we wanted to keep, so we didn't get to take it home for the freezer). I finally was able to get into the shower to clean up and was amazed at how good I felt - how good my pelvis felt unlike last time when I could hardly walk for days.
We stayed in L&D for about 2 hours, which we found out later was because every single room was full that day and we were waiting for a room on the Mama/Baby floor to open up, so we could move into it. Since we were there for so long, we ended up getting our first visitor, which was Mason to see his new little sister. He didn't seem phased by the carnage of the after birth still visible on the sheets and proceeded to hop up on the bed to give his little sister a kiss straight away (though he was probably happier to see mommie in the "hosipital"). Jess visited us, too, and went to the cafeteria to get some much needed food - burger and fries!
Overall, I was very impressed with how well I handled my labor, but surprised at how I melted down in hysterics and lost all confidence at the end. Thankfully, Michael and Meg didn't allow me the option that I had in the back of my mind and pushed me through. I didn't feel the same euphoria that I felt with Mason's birth, but I think that is because I had been through it before and the wonder of it all was lessened. But I am still amazed at this beautiful little creature that lived inside of me for 9 months and decided to join this world for her journey through life with us. Oh, and this time, it only took us two days to decide on her name - Kenzie Boyd Olivier - which means "daughter of a wise leader/fiery woman/fair one." I'm sure she'll be able to live up to one of those.
