Like the river in Ireland, maternity clothes Suck

I don't think it's me. I'm a pretty average-shaped person and under normal circumstances can find pretty great clothes and look half-way decent. Sure, maybe me being picky is part of the problem, but as with my first pregnancy dressy fashionably whilst accentuating my newest accessory is nigh impossible. I wish I were actually more adept at sewing because I'm sure I could whip out some better stuff (even if they looked homemade) than what I find at the Gap. There are many problems with maternity clothes, which makes the search very frustrating, this just names a few:
Number 1: I don't want to spend a fortune on a wardrobe I'll only wear for 9 months. Well, six, really, because the first three I still manage to make the "normal" clothes work.
Number 2: 5 yards of fabric, shaped like an umbrella does not constitute as "fashion" (unless I lived in the 60s).
Number 3: I know cute, jersey print fabric exists and I'm pretty sure that there are patterns for ruching, kimono sleeves, empire waists, and v-necks that are pretty cute. Why these two concepts can't be joined to create adorable maternity tops, I don't know, but I'm still searching.
Number 4: I do not want to spend $150 on maternity jeans, even though those are the only kind that have a leggy 35" inseam that I require.
Number 5: The belly isn't the only thing that expands during pregnancy. Pretty sure there aren't many A-cup pregnant ladies out there - why are clothes cut for them?
Number 6: Full-panels, really? Who likes those?
Number 7: Bows. And belts. And those dinky string tie things that are supposed to go over the belly.
Number 8: Those t-shirts that say "Bun in the Oven." Yeah - those are for the first few months when friends and strangers don't want to be that person that asks "when are you due?" and be wrong.
Number 9: Capris. I've made my peace with them under normal circumstances, but I just can't justify them on a pregnant woman. They look stupid.
Number 10: Bubble shirts...I mean, come on, stop fooling yourself - it's pretty obvious you are knocked up.
Number 11: I don't understand the necessity of tankinis. I happen to think that a big, pregnant belly is just about the most beautiful thing and pretty sure that most women and potential/current fathers would agree, so why cover it up? Sunshine is good for the belly anyway...the baby can tell.
Number 12: Why isn't everything constructed from stretch fabric?
Number 13: Someone took the concept that stripes make you look thinner a little too far. You cannot have a wardrobe of striped clothing during your entire pregnancy.
Number 14: All sizes are not created the same. I've worn size 2 pants, size L shirts, small and medium shorts, and XS dresses. There is no uniformity...though there isn't in normal clothes either, so this shouldn't be surprising.
With that...I'm going to go shopping and hope for the best.

Summer in Black Mountain

When I lived here in high school, Black Mountain and Asheville just weren't cool. The only thing to do on the weekend was go to the mall, a football game, cruise Patton, or go "camping" to get wasted with half of the class. I couldn't wait to leave and never thought I'd come back.
But a strange thing happened in the years between. Asheville became cool. Black Mountain became cool. And we like being cool, so we decided to move back.
Sure we found our dream house and enjoy being a stones throw from the park and hiking trails and a small group of friends, but top on my list of reasons for moving to Black Mountain was for the "raining water mushrooms" at the newly renovated pool. I could just picture Mason spending summer days running through them and playing all day swimming and giggling. But these are just the tip of the iceberg of summer activities.
To be fair, I'm attuned to a whole different sector of fun since I have to plan for a two-year-old and not, myself, a 16-year-old. I'm sure some of these things were going on when I was young, but I either wasn't interested or had done it long, long ago when I was a kid and forgotten.
I fondly remember long summers here with days spent at our house pool (even choreographing involved synchronized swimming and dances to Paula Abdul - thank you Valerie Eubanks), playing in the driveway during thunderstorms, tubing down Carolina Hemlock, picnicking along the parkway or near Cradle of Forestry, going to Sliding Rock, hiking to Catawba Falls and up Mount Pisgah, building dams in the Montreat playground stream, catching fireflies at night, falling asleep the to sounds of tree frogs, and jumping on the trampoline.
So far, we have discovered that two-year-old-friendly activities such as Thursday nights with great, free music at Lake Tomahawk called "Park Rhythms" (along with the rest of the town in attendance), the Montreat playground has a fabulous fenced under-3 play area with tricycles, sand box, plenty of trucks, and a pint-sized slide/tunnel/boat which is most often empty, any stream is good for throwing in rocks, The Health Adventure is a nice, air-conditioned respite on the hot days we've been frequented with this year, the new "Splasheville" water jet park in Pack Square Park in front of City Hall offers hours of water fun, and the North Carolina Arboretum has miles of easy trails and is free on the first Tuesday of the month. Obviously, we are a fan of free. It's kind of hard to justify paying for anything when there is such a variety of fun and fulfilling activities that don't require money every day of the week. Like I said, Asheville/Black Mountain became cool...and subsidized.

Dreams

Since I've started this blog, the focus has mainly been on little Mason, but now I can actually indulge myself and talk about...well, myself and this whole pregnancy thing. Since my husband has left me at home alone for the evening while he is off gallivanting with his friends (ok, ok, "making music" as Mason says. To be fair, he did leave me supplied with a box of the finest truffles...good man!) I'm left here to put down a few thoughts on the strangest part of being with child.
I've already mentioned the weird cravings and food aversions in the first trimester and the unusually extended sicknesses, but I haven't even touched on the dreams. The dreams - hardly based in reality, but excruciatingly lucid. Here are a few teasers:
1) A month or so ago I had a very vivid dream in two parts. Part one involved a huge Olympic sized pool/gymnasium in which I had to shimmy across a high tightrope above the pool (hanging upside down), but it was also frozen, so I had to break through the ice on the rope in order to get to the other side. Part two - I was sifting through a huge pile of colored jersey tops, tanks, and two-layer skirts trying to find the perfect color combination for the outfit that I was going to wear to to JFK's funeral and I could NOT find the perfect color combination (woke up before learning whether or not I actually attended said funeral).
2) Last week I dreamed that Michael was walking down Interstate 40 (with no traffic apparently) with a belt or something that had a magnetic end that accidentally picked up a slide projector that had been stuck in a pot hole in the middle of the road. Once he pulled it out and opened it up, he found someones pictures in it and knew who the guy was - turns out the guy had thrown it out the window because he was headed to Bonnaroo and they didn't allow metal objects. Michael, kindly, offered to return it to him.
3) On the more horrible side - you know the plastic pointy things that go inside men's collars to keep the points pointy? I had a bunch of those that were embedded in my foot and I was pulling them out one by one, but each one had words of wisdom on them (though this may have had something to do with some trepidation about work and my feelings of inadequacy?)
4) I was in a museum and needed to use the bathroom, which turned out to be this self-contained pod. You know, one of those that are in modern parks that are made of one piece of plastic and disinfect themselves after use? Well this pod, once you got in and shut the door, whooshed you up 10 stories to the roof of the building, wherein you had a lovely view whilst doing your business. Of course, the effect of whooshing up and down 10 stories didn't really make you feel like going to the bathroom, so the whole ordeal was pointless.
5) I went to a huge J.Crew warehouse sale that was located in a lush, expansive, yet crumbling estate.
6) Two nights ago I dreamed that I went into labor in the middle of winter in Montrose, CO. There wasn't any hospital near by, so I remember driving along icy roads to a dental clinic where I hoped for the best. I woke up before finding out how it ended.
7) And last night was just weird beyond measure, but needless to say it involved flying, making out with Pierce Brosnan lying down in a street, dumpster diving and drinking 2 liter bottles of Sprite, and San Fransisco. Boggles the mind.
8) There was the all-to-real one involving 10+ tornadoes in Nebraska (where we live apparently). Michael and I had left Mason at home with Wes to get a closer look, then got chased by one and decided it wasn't a good idea, so returned to our house only to find it destroyed and then panicked when we couldn't find Mason. Luckily, he was sitting in his A-dack chair outside what was the house with only a few scratches. Amidst the chaos, Wes, had decided to walk down the street to get some coffee from Lydia.
I'll keep these updated. The craziness is only beginning...I remember that right at the very end of my pregnancy the dreams were just insane.