Windows of Opportunity

I'm sure you think I'll write something prophetic about how growing up is full of various moments of clarity, foresight, fortune, and luck, but we're not quite there yet developmentally. Instead I want to share the realization that I've had that all of these moments in the past six months - these little baby steps - towards being "human" and adulthood are marked by brief psychological and physiological leaps that are easy to miss. I'm not talking about the first smile, or the first step, but the times when I can tell, at least, that something has shifted - when his awareness has expanded.
For example: our nightly routine is to put Mason down at around 9pm and then have a little time to ourselves before going to bed a few hours later. For the past 5 months or so that we have done this, it has worked like a charm, but now he is stirring an hour or so after falling asleep and can't be put back to sleep unless we go to bed with him. He has realized when we are not there. We decided on night #2 of being parents that co-sleeping was for us. We loved the idea of the family bed and waking up next to him each morning is a moment that, no matter how bad a night I've had, always makes me smile. We were undecided when to "move" him to his own crib (that Dad lovingly built and has been used only for folding laundry since). Our pediatrician did it at 4 months, some books say 6 months, others say to expect 2-3 years. I keep talking myself out of it: "Oh, it's winter and it's cold in the back bedroom. I'd rather keep our heating bill down than have a baby with ice cubes for hands." But now that he's waking up and distinctly aware of whether or not we are there, I'm realizing that we've missed our window. Moving him now will be a challenging prospect, indeed.
But I don't see this missed window as negative thing. In fact, I am secretly glad because, in reality, Mason's life is an extended process of detachment. In two or three years (or sooner) he won't want to be in Mommie and Daddy's bed, he'll want his own. I've decided to enjoy this period of family intimacy while I can, while I still can wake up every morning to the sweetest toothless grin in the whole world, next to my two most favorite people. Just for a little while longer.